What is Complex PTSD?
What are the known causes?
How is it different from PTSD?
Is recovery possible?
PTSD & Trauma Memories
PTSD is an anxiety disorder resulting from an anomaly in how the brain stores trauma memories. Normal memories - even negative ones - are organized in terms of time and space, and logically connected to other memories. When you recall a normal memory, your reaction makes sense. Normal memories soften over time, become less impactful: This may be the origin of the adage that Time Heals all Wounds.
Trauma memories are likely to be sensory, with a strong association to what you saw heard, smelled and felt during the event. They are time distorted, so your brain may believe the event is happening now. They are not cohesive, and unusually vivid.
A trauma memory is like a wound that never heals and may become more vivid with each recollection.
- When a trauma memory is triggered, your hippocampus becomes overactive, warning you of an imminent threat.
- The amygdala, which is responsible for your fight or flight response, becomes hyperactive.
- The prefrontal cortex - is the brain's braking system - becomes underactive.
I think of it as the perfect storm: My hippocampus signals danger, my amygdala sends urgent signals to protect me, andrational pre-frontal cortex is taking a nap.
The end result is a disproportionate, sometimes overwhelming response to an event. Objective facts do not matter when a trauma memory is triggered, and I cannot reason my way out of the physical and emotional responses.
Complex PTSD vs. PTSD
PTSD most often occurs following one or more traumatic events. Examples include veterans returning from combat, assault victims, and accident survivors.
Complex PTSD is typically the result of complex and extended trauma, prolonged or repetitive exposure to a series of traumatic events. It is associated closely with repetitive adverse childhood experiences, but can develop in destructive adult relationships.
My personal story is of childhood emotional abuse and neglect. I did not bond normally with my cold and emotionally abusive mother, was never hugged or told that she loved me. She told me in many ways that I was inadequate and potentially unforgivable, creating a version of me that would not have existed in better circumstances: avoidant, afraid of abandonment, constantly seeking to be perfect in the hope of being lovable, and certain that I would never be enough.
Healing from trauma that changes or defines your self-image requires survivors to build new versions of themselves: We do not know who we are or who we could be. The path is long and painful.
What Does Healing Look Like?
Healing is as unique as each person. Each of us has different traumas and triggers, and unique responses to those triggers. I'm a strong advocate of engaging a team of people in your healing journey: a psychiatrist plus one or more therapists. Every member of your team needs to be trauma-informed to ensure you will be seen and heard. One of my greatest challenges is that I have no innate concept of "good enough." Healing for CPTSD - at least for me - will never be complete. To balance my expectations with reality, I apply the W-I-S-H technique: What is Success Here? Defining success as something other than perfect has allowed me to celebrate my victories and given me peace: It is okay that there is more work ahead and does not mean I have failed. I worked hard in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to understand the dynamics of my family, how deeply affected I was by them, and learned to set healthy boundaries to avoid further damage. I was so much better but not healed. Decades of trauma left me with countless triggers, and I tackle them as they appear. I spent a year in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprogramming) and ended a bit worse off than when I started. Others have tremendous success with this method. My game changer was Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT). This methodology has helped me put to rest some of my most impactful triggers and negative self-beliefs. The lesson: Don't give up on yourself. Keep searching until you find the right therapist and the right process to help you progress. You deserve to slay your demons and live a healthy and peaceful life.